Friday, July 01, 2016

Finding A Little Motivation

Everyone has those moments in life where we sit and wonder what the hell we're doing with our lives. Social media shoves us unto other peoples lives and we have the horrid habit of comparing ourselves and diminish ourselves because we're not doing something we think we should be doing. There's a moment when you realize all your friends have a college/university they already got accepted into and a career field they have prepared for ever since high school and you have yet to even send in an application or know what you even want to do. The moment when they've got their first "big girl" or "big boy" job and you're still serving tables and coffee. The moment when casually mentioning they've already got a bachelors degree under their belt so finding a job would be a breeze and you're wondering if you even have enough customer service years of experience to even qualify. The moment when they're getting engaged and married having big glamorous weddings and buying homes and you're struggling to pay rent and bills by tips you barely have received. Something will always feel off for yourself as if you weren't close enough. Sometimes our situations just move us onto a different direction.

After middle school I didn't picture myself as someone who would go to college or a university. Once upon a time I had huge dreams but those dreams just changed and that's ok! I got to the point in my life when I knew I just couldn't work at a sit down job with paperwork. I needed something with creativity and something hands on. I do have many talents but I never felt they were good enough to get me a career so I do a little bit of everything. Sometimes I regret not pushing myself into what I had originally dreamed for myself as if that would change the outcome of my life as is. Would I have a great paying job? Would I still be stuck working where I work now? Would I even be able to even use my degree at all? 

The truth is aside from my many hobbies such as painting art, taking photographs and creating things I have so much going on in my head that I can't seem to ever get on paper, I lack that ability. I almost feel as it's a punishment to have so many ideas and never know how to go about them. I'm shoving my fears and thoughts aside and just pushing through because if I don't ever start or even attempt anything that will all be my fault. I always read amazing self motivation books not just because they're a huge help and help me align my thoughts but because it makes me see what I want more and more clear as well as makes me act upon my thoughts. They help me push harder a little bit more day after day. I think everyone should read at least one of these type of books in their lives, they're not just for when you think you have problems, these style of books will help you whether you think you have a problem or not. 

Now onto to talking about a few dreams I've always had and the things I have never ever told anyone. Ever since I can remember I created so many stories in my mind, whether they were a story I started when playing with a doll or they were ideas that flowed from a movie I had seen. I come up with endless amount of stories that I could write a million books about. I have tried again and again to get my thoughts onto paper and failed miserably. I would begin writing and just felt as if the story could sound good in my mind but to others it might be as if a child wrote it. I'm not great with grammar or synonyms (a few things that make books so intriguing to me as I learn new phrases and words). I shouldn't be so hard on myself as English is my second language, I just expect myself to write as a master rather than a beginner (I'm working on it). Lately I have chosen to start over, write my stories or even parts of what I have in my mind, actually work at making a story and follow through to a publisher. I can't ever know what will happen but I will always know that I tried.

“Use your surrounding 
                          as encouragement.”

Not many people know that I write or even know of any of the ideas that run through my head, I like to see it as my little secret and now something I share with any followers here that read my blog (another thing not many people know I do) but I think getting it out there is the first step, sticking by it is the hardest part. I can't tell you how many times I've gone with a gut feeling of taking something down because I regretted the decision. I often felt that my "prime time" was passing me by, now that I am 25 years old, a mom and a wife and my job was supposed to be dedicated to family entirely. Well as much as I've seen so many people make it at a young age I've also seen so many wonderful people make it after they've started having a family or after they've had a downfall. Use your surrounding as encouragement. Grow from your ashes.

This post isn't just for myself as I share my experience but for others that are feeling stuck or in a rut. Go in search of yourself for a little while, really think about what you love and what you want to do and go for it. Trial and error is how so many wonderful writer, actors and any sort of worker has gone through in they lives. You get out there and you try to aim for something, you'll catch something eventually. This is a reminder to those that are looking for a little push and some motivation as I often find myself searching for. The world doesn't have to know everything you do or how you do it, whether it failed or succeeded. This can start with just you, sometimes we need the support of our friends and family and that's wonderful however I myself find it better to keep certain things myself and only share when I succeed, however the way of getting things to work is to just remember to do it.

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